Sunday, January 24, 2010

Happy Birthday To Me

"When (mumble mumble) years old you are, this good you will not look.

Amazing, the way D'wife is always thinking of me. Mostly, I suspect, along the lines of "Where should I hide the body?" or "How should I hide the body?" or "How can I make this look like an accident?", although that last one gets easier and easier. So here's this touching story she sent me:

The awesome power of a wife's love

Harold, a very old man, lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.
Harold gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from Wanda, his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife, Wanda.
"Stay out of those," Wanda shouted, "They're for the funeral.


Tam said...

Happy belated birthday!

(And a superior date it is, indeed! :D )

Billll said...

Thank you very much Ma'am. I also note that we share a propensity for driving convertibles in the rain.

Mine was British, so having the top down doesn't make much difference, but if you keep the speed above 55, most of the wet stays out of your lap.