Sunday, September 27, 2009

Cash For Codgers Program Proposed

This information is just out from a staffer at Sen. Max Baucus’ office at a press conference regarding the latest rendition of the Health care bill. Many questions have been raised regarding the costs associated with the bill both to the government, and to the taxpayers. An amendment has been proposed to the bill in an attempt to control costs. The amendment would establish the “Cash For Codgers” program, which recognizes that people over 55 typically require more, and more expensive, health care, and people over 65 not only require more health care yet, but also no longer contribute to the nation’s tax base, thus delivering a double whammy to the system.

Under the Cash For Codgers program, if someone came in seeking health care services that were judged “excessive” by a locally appointed appraisal board, then their nearest relative will be granted power of attorney to make the decision, and will be offered $3500 to $4500 for such organs as are usable, and the patient would then be humanely parted out. Unusable portions will be disposed of in an ecologically approved manner, with preferences given to demands of the agriculture industry.

Proposed amendments to this amendment include a request by Sen. Stabenow of Michigan for a 35% tariff on imported Chinese organs from the prison systems there, and a request by Nebraska’s Sen. Ben Nelson to give preference to Cargill Pork feedlot operations in Omaha for the leftovers.


Brad K. said...

Billll, this is a marvelous strategy! It will be so very easy to extend this end-time detection to include smokers, and obese people (anyone that weighs more than Rahm Emanuel), drug users, drunk drivers and other criminals, and the handicapped, and even conservative voters!

Billll said...

Government programs are like living organisms in that they either grow at 6% (or more) a year, or else they're dying. No program manager worthy of his large staff, chauffeured limo, and fancy office would want to take over a program without prospects for rapid expansion into a cabinet-lever position, or at least the title of Czar.

Codger Czar. Might need work.