This sort of think has become ever more popular as the Obama administration wears on. Myriad suggestions arise as to the appropriate reaction to shopworn phrases like "let me be perfectly clear"...oh wait, that was a Nixon line. Obama dropped the word "perfectly".
Here's one that will probably have you under the table in fairly short order. Picking phrases is becoming easier as the second term runs on to the point that I saw someone suggest that the SOTU address will be cancelled tonight and replaces with re-runs of previous addresses.
Steve Green will be live blogging the event which should make it more bearable. He's sacrificing his liver so you don't have to.
My suggestion is to tune in right at the end, and if Obama hasn't announced his resignation, then feel free to drink yourself into oblivion. I believe the hangover cures are covered under Obamacare.