Saturday, January 4, 2014

A Solution To The Proposed New York Horse Ban

Bill DeBlasio has raised some hackles by proposing to ban the horse-drawn carriages that ferry tourists so profitably around Central Park, and replace them with replica vintage electric autos. Somehow making a draft horse do what it was bred to do is cruel and unusual, along the lines of making a hippie get a job.

Somehow I can't see the tourists taking to 1970's Clubman golf carts with quite the same enthusiasm.

But hark! A solution exists! Google can now supply the carriage drivers with electric substitutes for the hayburners now in service:
All it needs is a fake fur coat, and of course a head. Oh yes, and a tail to cover the socket where the power cord goes between rides. What's not to like? The head can be a unicorn and the passengers can ride assured that the coal that charges the batteries is being burned in another county.

Of course if your tastes run to the traditional Asian rickshaw, Google can help there too:

One of these babies can be fitted with the ethnic outfit of your choice as a snap-on coverall, and off you go. I might go for one dressed as Al Gore in a Speedo for example. Visualize that running around Central Park this winter at -20F. Your tastes may vary. Ahnald in traditional Tyrolean lederhosen or maybe the new Hefty Hefer Barbie (tm), the possibilities are endless.

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