Sunday, May 17, 2009

Automotive Humor

Got these from my daughter:

Oh my...that e-mail with the car was too funny! Here is one of my own stories.... One evening I was managing the Express facility when a lady came in and asked for her tires to be checked and filled. I told her she had N2 in her tires and we did not have N2 there but we could check and put air in her tires if she liked.
She responded by starting to freak out about having N2 in her tires, so as per her request we let all the N2 out of her tires and then filled them with air. I wanted to find out why the N2 in her tires made her so upset, so I started talking with her about the tires. Her concern was so funny! She was telling me she could not believe a company would put N2 in tires, because if her air bags had gone off, that could have caused major issues! Not understanding what the hell this lady was talking about, I asked what her air bags had to do with her tires and N2?

She tells me "Well when your airbags deploy it takes all the air from your tires to do that, and if the tires had N2 in them, you would die because you would not be able to breath after your car accident?" After having her repeat that and biting my lip so I would no laugh I explained how those systems worked and that no way that would ever happen. She had also told me a story about her changing her tire once and all I could think was " Well...lady did you ever disconnect the air bag line before removing that tire?"

Oh, another good one is that a lot of people don't seem to know is the steering wheel locking. They tend to call in when they are late for everything, and you have to tell them OK put your keys in the ignition, and then jiggle the steering wheel right and left....then you hear the person on the other end say "Oh my god that worked....thanks!" and then they quickly hang up! I don't know, I was taught about that at drivers ed!

When I worked for Grease Monkey I was about to go to lunch when this white Ford van came flying in the parking lot. My manager asked if I could get the guys information then I could leave. I grabbed the clip board and started to walk out. I stopped and saw this guy was haulin some ass! I started to yell for him to slow down and when the others I worked with saw this they started to yell STOP, STOP! The guy that worked in the pit ran toward the wall. The white van came crashing in the bay and fell in the pit! After a quick head count of us monkeys, we could hear a female screaming. We checked the people in the van and found the passenger, a female, was beating the hell out of the driver (her bf?!). While beating him she was yelling " you stupid son of a bitch, you lied to me!! You told me you fixed the van!! I hate you!!"

My manager towed them out of the pit, and the guy then old us he would fix it after he comes back from CA. My manager explained to him that he should listen to his gf and made him fill out paperwork saying that the vehicle was a hazard. It seems the van had a bad brake master cylinder, and he had been using the emergency brake to stop. Good lick to him getting to California. If the car doesn't kill him his girlfriend will.

1 comment:

Car Talk said...

How do you get spare parts for a Fiat?
Just follow another one around.What's the difference between a Fiat and a Jehovah's Witness?
You can close the door on a Jehovah's Witness.When should you do the first oil change on a Fiat?
When it gets to 50,000 miles or (in other words) never.Have you seen the latest Fiat anti-theft device?
They enlarged the logo.What occupies the last six pages of the Fiat owner's manual?
The bus and train timetables.How can you get a Fiat to do 60 miles an hour?
Push it over a cliff.A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas cap for my Fiat."
The dealer replied, "Okay. Sounds like a fair trade."How do you make a Fiat go faster?
Tell the tow truck driver to speed up.What do you call a Fiat on a hilltop?
A miracle.Two Fiats on a hilltop?
Science fiction.Three Fiats on a hilltop?
A funny place to build a Fiat factory.