Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Science Fraud

When the Godfather decides he doesn't like you, for whatever reason, he sends around the stereotypical pair known as "Guido and Nunzio"*, who rearrange your outlook, or maybe just your looks. In extreme cases it's your metabolism that gets altered, from working to non-working.

The president, being from Chicago, understands this but has been briefed that outside of Cook county the overt practice of kneecaping your enemies doesn't play well. Instead, Guido and Nunzio show up with clipboards, briefcases, and EPA credentials.

If anyone thinks they are being heavy handed, remember they have lots of evidence to back up their assertions that whatever you're doing is bad for someones health. They do studies, sometimes taking hours to compile the data and produce the desired results. Of course if the frenzied number-crunching fails to deliver the goods, they simply cherry-pick the bits that do and bury the rest.

All you need is a FOIA lawsuit, and you too can be privy to the truth.

Update: In the first link there's an EPA official calling for oil companies to be crucified. This was a bit much for the DNC which has apologized. I'm sure they prefer public beheadings.

No comments: