The Chicago Way

The race for Mayor of Chicago is warming up, and promises to provide at least a modicum of entertainment for the rest of us who, at least, don't have to live there.

Rahm Emmanual wants to be Mayor, and the current Duke of Chicago, Daily, seems to be backing him. The election commission, who owe their jobs to the Duke, decided that moving away for two years doesn't disqualify anyone from being a resident, so he can run.

Rahmbo for Mayor
Because you like your kneecaps

The slogans just write themselves. The way politics works there is that potential candidates announce themselves, the party machine picks the winner, and enough dirt or bribes are dug up or offered that come election day only one name appears on the primary ballot. In the general election, the same technique is followed, with emphasis on the dirt. Getting to be Mayor in Chicago is thus, mostly a matter of having your opponents whacked, figuratively speaking, early on.

Now another candidate has come forward, addressing an issue near and dear to the hearts of every resident of Chicago; race.

Pressure to unite around one African-American candidate has been bubbling here for months, in part out of fear that the city’s black vote would be split — diminishing its influence and all but ensuring that a white candidate (like Rahm Emanuel, the former White House chief of staff) or a Latino candidate (like Gery Chico, a former board of education leader) might win on Feb. 22.

Yeah, we all know what's really important: Patronage and pork.

CAROL MOSELEY BRAUN for MAYOR
Because America Needs Another Detroit

The above was Stacy McCain's slogan, but hey, they just write themselves, don't they? Still, enough like this, and it actually becomes possible for a Republican to win, at least until all those lost voting machines are found in the trunks of abandoned Cash For Clunkers cars.