Squirrel Trap

I was commenting to a friend about how well my fruit trees were doing, absent the predations of some 25 squirrels, and he remarked that his garden was under attack by the fuzzy rodents. He didn't quite approve of my trap, saying that id seemed a bit inhumane to drown the little buggers.

Go here to see the trap in great detail. Most people should be able to figure out how to build one just like it.

I point out here, that the operative part of the trap is the 4 foot piece of 4 in ABS pipe with the peanut butter in it. Anything else is open to the demented imagination of the trapper. As we discussed possible improvements, it will be noted that while all of them provided a swifter demise for the rodent, within the space of 10 minutes or so methods were being proposed along the lines of Monty Python meets Joseph Mengele.

Placing something along the lines of a land mine at the bottom of the tube, for example, will certainly provide a quick demise. Using a shotgun shell as the explosive has the additional advantage of not damaging the pipe, and depositing the carcass 2 or 3 yards (suburban yards, not the 3 footers) away for someone else to dispose of. Place a Remington 1100 in the bottom of the pipe, and all you have to do is reload from time to time.

Put some wires in the tube, and electrify them. This produces squirrel flambe, ready-to-eat. In France this is probably a delicacy. Of course the French probably remove the fur and guts first. A cream sauce and a glass of white wine helps too.

In England, where the American gray squirrel is out-competing the native red, they bring £3.50 a squirrel, or about $5. Problem with this is that urban squirrels eat trash, and taste like it.