Wednesday, November 28, 2012


The state of Art right now is that Glenn Beck has assembled and put up for auction, a piece of his own consisting of an Obama bobblehead doll in a jar of urine, reminiscent of the "Piss Christ" from way back when. He posted this on E-Bay with an asking price of $25,000 and had bids over $11,000 when E-Bay pulled the offering. Proceeds were to go to Beck's charity, Mercury One.

It seems that E-Bay does not allow the sale of bodily fluids on its site.

This brings up another possibility: Reminiscent of the portrait of the Virgin Mary done in elephant dung, how about a 3-D sculpture of the pres done in male bovine scat? This not only meets the E-Bay standards, but could probably be the best representation of the pres to date, on multiple levels.

With the artist's provenience that all the BS used in the sculpture was genuine BS from genuine bulls (not steers) I'd set the asking price at $50,000, proceeds to be donated to some worthy charity, say the Tea Party.

A common plaster bust of the prez dipped in ordinary liquid cow pies might be priced much more reasonably for the common man.


Brad K. said...

I wanted to think that a bs sculpture could be sold for garden soil enrichment. .

But -- how do you certify the contents came from happy cows, not gathered in CAFE (agri-business, non-sustainable feedlots and confinement operations), and not gathered from cows grazing on leased Federal lands (accused during Bush I of depleting the ozone layer).

In short, any use of cattle, cow, bull, steer, calf, or veal droppings would offend the nature and goal of the EPA, and the Obama administration -- they want to suppress cows and the methane emitted (belched) during digestion.

I still have yet to see anyone show me that cows grazing produce anymore methane than the grass would have anyway, if left to a natural growth and decay cycle. 90%+ of the annual release of methane comes from swamps and wetlands -- and the Federal government protects and enlarges those! But I digress.

Perhaps a Mount Rushmore treatment of some Chicago slums, with Valerie Jarrett, President and Mrs. Obama, and Rev. Wright rendered, looking down on the inner city they are rapidly impoverishing. A PhotoShop image, Lego(tm)s, or a full architectural treatment, would touch the soul.

Billll said...

If the sculpture were solid pressed BS, it could be infused with a network of porous capillary tubing to collect the generated methane. Routed to a small outlet at the top of the piece, the top of the forehead, the collected gas could be ignited to produce heat and light symbolizing the width and breadth of the Dear Leaders thought.

The amount produced would be quite modest and probably less than the amount produced by the match required to light it, symbolic of the vast subsidies typically required of "green" projects, but that too fits the model.

And yes, when it dries out and you're tired of it stinking the place up, you can plow it into your subsistence garden where it will finally produce something useful.