What Do Women Want?

Forget it. There are things that man was not meant to know, and that's right up there at the top of the list.

Way back when wearing animal skins was just becoming fashionable, men quickly learned that the best response to the question "Does this bear skin make my butt look fat?" was to quickly stuff a chunk of mastodon meat into your mouth and smile while mumbling unintelligibly. This would allow his woman to assume he had said whatever she wanted to hear, and not begin beating him with his own club.

Today, some women have discovered a supplement to chicken feed.

Originally they were used by farmers to bulk up chickens - but it was discovered that when taken by women they enhance the size of thighs, hips and bottom.

Now scores of online sites are also offering "herbal" versions of the tablets with names like Star Curves, Big Beautiful Butt Formula, and Brand New Booty pills.

Normally reducing the thighs, hips, and bottoms is a multi-billion dollar business, at least in the West, but who knew there were parts of England where malnutrition was so endemic that this sort of thing might become popular. In places like this, the answer to the question "Do these pills make my butt look big?" might well be "Yes", but given the vagueries of the fair sex, I still recommend the mastodon meat gambit.