Improving The Olympics

I've been discussing the Olympics back an forth with a friend today, and have concluded that the whole thing could use some fixing up. First off, the opening ceremonies will be choreographed by Tam. See previous post, and this time click the links.

Second off, the sledding events just haven't been the same since the Jamaicans are not represented, and besides, they (everybody, not just the Jamaicans) look like a trip down the water slide at Water World, only with ice, so in my Olympics, all sledding events will be held on the same course as the mens giant slalom. Obviously the equipment will need a bit of updating as more maneuverability and better brakes are indicated.

The Biathlon will be modified to provide the same number of targets, but in the format of pop-ups, placed randomly along the trail. All targets will pop up, wait 5 seconds, then pop back down. 0 points for an "A" zone hit, 5 points for a "B" zone, and 10 points for a miss. Scores to be added to your time. Class B, rimfire, and class A, centerfire. Some of the targets will be out there a ways. Much as I think it would inprove the viewing, I've decided that holding the event inside a fenced preserve with 3-5 polar bears might be excessively complicated, what with having to catch and fly in the bears, then fly them back out again.

Next is snowmobile racing. I'm debating if this should be held indoors on a super-cross track, or outdoors on an SCCA sports car track.

Mens figure skating. The ladies love this one with its spray-on costumes and finely chiseled tushes, but let the men compete against each other in pairs, and add in pugil sticks, and the audience doubles. Not to mention beer sales.

Snowboarding and mogul skiing:
Nothing wrong with these events that a bit of work on the outfitting wouldn't largely cure. Go here for more. Try to remember to come back. Imagine womens mogul skiing with a athlete like Katerina Witt. (NSFW) Yowza!

I'm sure there's more room for improvements. Suggestions welcome.