Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Piece of the Stimulus

Thanks to Reason for the pointer, now I can start my own company, hire my friends, and do R&D on my favorite subject:

wireless and broadband deployment grant programs

(including transfer of funds to Billll for the Billll Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

    For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $50,000,000 shall be paid directly to Billll in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Billll to Personal weapons research and development or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Billll will receive free AC-DC tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Billll shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Nancy Pelosi is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

    This sort of reminds me of the Grenada Corporation that I proposed right after we liberated the place, and were looking for something to boost their economy. It involved myself and 3 or 4 co-workers setting up a manufacturing facility on Grenada producing small arms which would then be provided to friendly governments and insurgencies, properly vetted by the CIA. Business expansion would include a Stinger missile made to Radio Shack level of technology, and eventually include the production facility for the Piper PA-51 aircraft.

    Board meetings would be held on the beach, and attended by wahinis.

    Eventually we would become the biggest employer on the island, and the president, a local who understood the principle of "butter on only one side of a slice of bread", would import an economic adviser from the University of Chicago who would model the islands policy to be as similar to Hong Kong as possible.

    Audace, toujours l'audace.

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