The above picture is the new Joe Biden 20, currently in the final assembly stages at Boston Dynamics, the world famous maker of robots. In the final version, the head will be replaced with a silicone copy of Biden 1.0 made by Real Dolls, maker of realistic humanoid robots. He will be dressed in a blue suit, and the crystal ball will be replaced with a stack of executive orders. The $1 slot will be replaced by a card/phone reader and will accept donations in increments of $1M. Nancy Pelosi and Susan Rice, highly placed members of the Democrat Party Central committee, say the new version should be quite a bit more reliable than the old one.
The right arm will be fully automated and capable of dashing off a credible signature as long as the document is placed within the alignment markers on the desk top and will even be able to replace the pen in the holder as long as the holder doesn't get bumped out of place. The voice function will be able to change the voice of whomever is speaking from behind the curtains to a perfect replica of the presidents voice with the substitution noticeable only by the lack of gaffes and wandering of the topics.
The Central committee assures us that replacing the president with the vice president, Kamala Harris, will not be necessary with these improvements installed, and in fact, Mr Biden is expected to easily win a second term in 2024 by a 54.65/45.35 margin. People who were worried that the drone of “C'mon man” might be replaced with endless cackling are universally relieved.
Worthy of note, perhaps, is that requests for a complete membership list of the Central Committee, have been met with reactions ranging from mumbling obfuscation to complete silence.