Friday, July 5, 2019

Killing Geese

Not like they lay golden eggs or anything, just poop all over the place. As migratory* birds, they are protected so us peasants aren't allowed to thin the ever increasing herds ourselves. We'd even get a ticket if our dogs were to bag one on a walk, so the only check on the population is the coyotes and foxes who are woefully outnumbered.

Denver, being exempt from federal game laws, has decided to trap some geese and feed them to the growing homeless population as gooseburgers. Yummy, I guess. On the bright side, the homeless population should increase to accommodate the supply of geese, but on the down side, the homeless population will increase to match the numbers of geese and human poop will replace goose poop.

Not everyone has thought this all the way through, either:
Sure, killing geese gets rid of them in the short term, but they just come back, says Marc Bekoff, professor emeritus of ecology and biology at the University of Colorado Boulder.
Yo! Prof! It's called a renewable resource! With a well staffed agency, led by some schmott fellow like you, at a nice 6-figure salary, we could manage the homeless and goose populations here to achieve a stable balance.

*They seem to have forgotten how this is supposed to be done and simply stay here pooping on golf courses and sidewalks all year round.


Merle said...

When I lived in San Pedro, CA the peacocks caused pretty much the same problems.

Billll said...

Probably left the kids with some fairly interesting Indian headdresses.

Ritchie said...

Just as with squirrels, culling only creates a density gradient, which naturally tends to cure itself. And, is the USDA really going to inspect the take for use by people too unmotivated to go get their own goose?

Billll said...

I'm still thinking that the Bacon Gooseburger would be a hit at Chick-Fil-A. The city of Denver can pay the bribes necessary to get this approved from their fund to deal with the goose problem.

Anonymous said...

Maybe we should require the homeless to bring in a goose to get a free meal or bed.