Having been informed that he won the election, Slow Joe has come out and read the obligatory "I won" speech for the press. In it he invites the Nazis he just defeated to put aside the small differences that separate them from his Democratic Socialist party, and join together to rule. Upcoming festivities include a reenactment of Lenin's storming of the Russian parliament to be performed at the White House using Antifa members as stand-ins for the Bolsheviks originally used.
Here's a suggestion sure to cement his popularity: Solve the Covid problem in about 2 weeks. This is easily done through a simple business deal in which Hunter Biden is given a seat on the board of directors of the company in China that makes the vaccine, and Joe will give the Chinese an exclusive contract to supply 350 Million doses of their vaccine.
The Chinese vaccine has been in testing in XinJiang province for about 6-8 months with the Uigher population there, and NO bad side effects have been reported. None. At all. Reported.
The Bidens have extensive experience with this sort of business deal so no problems are anticipated.
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