Billlls Tactical Shoes

Think these are an ordinary pair of Crocs with Mossey Oak camo stuck over the toes? Well WRONG tactical poseur-breath:
These are actually Billlls Tactical Shoes, fitted with Picatinny rails on the soles, these shoes can be quickly and easily be fitted with skis, suction cups, crampons, cleats, skate wheels, blinking LEDs, or even a switchblade for dancing with your favorite spy. Be the envy of all the other mall ninjas, and even avoid getting beaten up by the folks in the cowboy bar as you saunter in with your quick-attach spurs a-jingling away. Optional quick-attach pointy toe also available.

Be the envy of the tactical crowd as you are ready in an instant to tackle every demand the situation can place on your footwear. Running springs? Certainly! Ice skates? Sure!

But wait! There's more! Order now, and get our tactical footgear accessory backpack for only $10 more. This fashionable pack comes in six different colors of camo, including pink, and stores all the accessories you may need for a hard day of tactical schlepping around, weather in the mall or out in the woods.

Tell them I sent you, and get a free baffled look. Offer not valid in states with active anti-fraud laws.