Putin Reads From Trumps Book

 As of right now, it's pretty clear that Putins library includes a copy of Trumps book "The Art Of The Deal'. Famously it says that when going in to negotiate, ones position should be to demand the Sun, the moon, and the Stars, and work from there.

Putin has offered his starting position for an end to hostilities in Ukraine thusly:

1. Ukraine should cease all military actions.

2. Ukraine must change their constitution to guarantee its future neutrality.

3. Ukraine must acknowledge Russias possession of Crimea, and 

4. Give up the 2 eastern provinces which the Russians occupied a short time ago.

A great opening offer. Let's see:

1. Russia enjoys being thought of as the second most powerful military force in the world, and is quite embarrassed to be getting stymied by #22 Ukraine.

2. The next time they invade, they would prefer a completely disarmed victim. This is Russias international equivalent to the U.S. gun bans.

3. Russia had based a big part of their Black Sea Fleet in Crimea and dearly wants their Navy bases back. Historically, Crimea has been part of Ukraine, notwithstanding the little love lost between the mostly Muslim Crimeans, and the mostly Christian Ukes. The Crimean Cossacks don't care much for the Russkies either.

4. The Donbas region has been an economic disaster ever since the Rus occupied it, ostensibly to protect the ethnic Rus who live there. Anyone who could move, already has, back west into Ukraine.

So now it's Ukraines turn to make a counter offer. The soldiers on Snake Island probably said it best, but this is international diplomacy, so their response to the Russian demand for surrender would probably need to be Bowdlerized a bit:

1 You first.

2. You first.

3. How about if we agree that Crimea will be a designated neutral and demilitarized zone?

4. You will remove all occupying troops from Donbas, and we will guarantee full rights to the citizens there.

5. Additional diplomatic words and phrases, saying nice things about all parties concerned, mentioning Ukraines right as a sovereign nation to associate with anyone she wants, and ending with "...and the horse you rode in on."