Congratulations Bender!

Upon the occasion of your triumphal election to the Washington D.C. school board. Educational standards in the city have nowhere to go but up, and you may take as your first official act the defeat of the Ayatollah Khamani who was in the process of getting elected himself.
The sub-humans will be allowed to live, and will be able to accurately distinguish between Pilsners, Lagers, and Stouts.