QOTD and Defensive Metrics

This from Carteach0:

Do human beings have the right to defend themselves?

If so.... do human beings have the right to own the means of defending themselves?

Which brings us to the method required for answering the second question. It's not easy figuring this out. We can't have people simply shooting thugs you know, response must be proportionate. When you have an altercation scheduled, it's important that all the preliminary questions be answered before the formal engagement begins. Check your appointment book or Microsoft Outlook and do the math.

First off what is the height and weight of your assailant? For every 50 lbs he outweighs you, award yourself 1 point. For every 2 inches he over tops you, award yourself another point. To avoid penalizing the morbidly obese, multiply your points by the ratio of your respective BMIs, yours over his.

Next take into consideration the weaponry he plans to bring. No weapon, no points. One point for an impact weapon, two points for an edged weapon, and three points for a firearm. 

Don't forget to factor in performance enhancing (?) drugs. -1 for alcohol or pot, and +1 for opiates. 

If you have accumulated 5 points, you may arm yourself with a firearm or a pair of scissors. 3-4 points and you can have pepper spray. 1-2 points and you're limited to a cell phone.

When writing your representatives about gun control, Carteach0 invites you to include the questions in red above. Please do not include anything else shown here. You'll just give them ideas.

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