Sunday, May 27, 2012

Raising Kids and Urban Myths

I loves me a good hoax. One that gets the Figures Of Authority jumping up and down, wailing that Something Must Be Done (tm), or that There Ought To Be A Law (r). I have really seen nothing to compare with the smoking bananas hoax from the '60's but that may be because I've learned to look at outrageous suggestions as just that.

Still, here's a list of contenders ranging from barely plausible to to downright extraterrestrial.  Of course a good hoax needs a bit of reality to act as a base. Several of these do. Jenkem, for example  involves a process for producing methane, which if huffed, will get you high, just as breathing any other non-oxygenated gas will. "High" in this case referring to a near-death experience. Considering the source of the methane, this would be just like huffing farts, which might make death seem attractive, so who knows.

Most teenagers are convinced that their parents are deliberately holding them back, preventing them from achieving their rightful place in the Guinness book of world records, when in fact, we're trying to keep them from winning a Darwin award. Sometimes it's helpful to encourage them if the result will be sufficiently humorous or embarrassing. Tampon shots will reputedly allow the absorption of alcohol quickly, and without a breathalyzer signature. Soak a tampon in Vodka, and place it where the sun don't shine and see what happens.

Remember Macaulay Caulkins in Home Alone when he slapped the after shave on his face? You'll be laughing about that one for years. Just periodically check your K-Y and make sure there's no Ben-Gay in it.

1 comment:

Brad K. said...

I saw a telling t-shirt last night. "The world isn't ending. We are just taking over. [High schools] Class of 2012."

What ran through my mind, is "Huh? Let me see you have the resources to change much of significance in this community by feeding 1,000 people for a month. Or providing water for 1,000 people for a month. Or shelter for 1,000 people for a month. If you don't have resources, you cannot change (at least, improve) people's lives in this community, let alone the world."

It seems kids today actually believe the rhetoric and propaganda they hear at graduation.

My observation is that it will be the class of 2009, and 2008, and earlier, that will have a significant impact come November; but that for the most part, there won't be enough contact between classmates three months after graduation to act as a unit for any goal.

People do change the world. They do build communities. Usually after they accumulate certain resources. That might be community respect and reputation, that might be money, that might be skills in providing services to friends, neighbors, employers, the nation, etc. People accumulate such resources, not, for the most part, school classes, graduated or not, that aren't under the influence of someone that has accumulated the needed resources.

Telling kids that they are the future, without focusing on how they will be valued by their community, merely spends tax money.