Gun Suicides

Here's a link to an article that has been published in the American Journal of Headology or some such addressing the issue of gun-based suicides. Namely the author thinks we should try to reduce this number. He's exactly wrong, and here's why.

His paper states that of the some 33,500 gun deaths in 2014, some 21000 of these were suicides. He proposes several rather nonsensical approaches to the problem, all of which would have the ultimate effect of disarming the potential victims of hoodlums.

First off people off themselves because they're depressed. They're depressed right now on account of a morbid economy, increasing crime rates, an upsurge in terrorism, and limited real prospects for improvement. Address this, and the suicide rate goes down. The president could make a big dent in this by addressing the American people, apologizing for 7 years of mismanagement, and announcing his early retirement to Indonesia. This won't happen.

Plan B would be for the government to subsidize the soft Nylon rope industry and begin a series of PSA's proclaiming the comfort this material imparts as it tightens around ones neck. An increase in self hangings would of course be offset by a decrease in gun suicides.

Plan C is a simple extension of the nationalized health care we're getting now. Make the Flagon With The Dragon(tm) (single dose) available OTC and cover it with your Obamacare card. Limit one per customer, and on-site use required. Leave photo ID with the pharmacist, step into the vestibule with your 5 minute no-energy drink, and 5 minutes later the trap door deposits your mortal remains into the dumpster out back.  I hear requiring a photo ID is now racist.

 Ah but the unforeseen consequences:

Let's assume that plan B and/or C works to the maximum extent possible and the gun suicide rate drops to Japanese levels, near zero. This means that the overall gun death rate drops to about 9000/year. This cuts our gun death rate to something near that of Belgium and makes us look like one of the most peaceable countries in the world. This also makes it very difficult to argue for any more gun control although the hair-shirt extremists will continue on with lines like "Even one is too many!" The anti-gun pols will be reduced to admitting that the real reason they want guns banned is because they fear pissed off constituents. They will however be easier to ignore.