“Comrade Kalashnikov will be buried in a pit of mud with full military honors,” said General-Major Saiga Molot, a spokesman for the Russian army. “After a week, we will exhume his body, clean it off, and put him back to work. We expect that there shall be no issue with his functions.”
This. from duffelblog
Not quite as accurate as Eugine Stoner, but all in all, more reliable. Which would you rather have buried in your back yard.