Squirrel Trap

I don't care what Tom Lehr says, what's more fun than Poisoning Pigeons in the Park, is drowning squirrels in your back yard. This year, an untimely cold snap seems to have dashed all my hopes of fruit on the trees, but Sis-in-law is an avid gardener, which is another way of saying the squirrels and rabbits think highly of her.

She installed one of the Billlls Shiva-Like Squirrel Traps in her back yard 3 days ago. Today, she tells me she believes she has caught at least one, and maybe two of the little rodents in it, but is afraid to look, or lift the pipe to extract the bodies.

This is caused by the fact that she's a wimp, but also the tale I told her of once catching two squirrels in my trap, and not realizing that the second one was standing on the body of the first, wet, frightened, and angry. When I lifted the pipe to remove the body, the second bedraggled rodent jumped out of the bucket, and escaped to the nearest tree before I could react.

Let this be a warning, Use a flashlight to check, and let the dog watch while you clear the trap. Any properly doglike* dog will insure that a live squirrel won't make it to that tree.

*As opposed to some of the stupider breeds who wouldn't know what to do with a squirrel if it served itself cooked, with acorn gravy.