Thursday, May 14, 2009

Squirrel Trap

I've put these pictures up before, but the title under which it was posted would be misleading, so here they are again.
This is a 4 foot length of 4" dia ABS pipe from Lowes, who sell the stuff conveniently pre-cut to length. The bucket is a household cleaning bucket, filled with water. The pipe is secured to the fence with a small bungee cord so it won't tip over.

You bait this thing by smearing some peanut butter, first a bit on the top of the pipe, and a bit more elbow deep down the pipe from the top. Squirrels can smell peanut butter from blocks away. They sample the stuff on top, then try to get the stuff down the pipe, which is a bit out of reach for a squirrel hanging by its hind legs from the rim of the pipe.
Splish splash, they'll be takin' a bath, and drown in fairly short order. Disposal is up to you, but in my neighborhood, there is a family of foxes who will carry away any freshly dead small animals overnight.

For you Terry Pratchett fans, this is a lot like being a devotee of Offler, the crocodile god. You have a small statue of Offler in your house, in front of which you leave a small offering of meat at night. In the morning the meat is gone, and your life is relieved of minor inconveniences.

If you're the kindly type, I suppose you could modify a wire frame cage to accept the pipe, and add a barrier to close when you withdraw the pipe. The little varmints can then be relocated to a new home, which I suggest should be at least 5 miles away. Select and modify your cage carefully, because the first time an insanely angry, panic-stricken squirrel breaks jail in your car, the novelty of being the cheauffer is going to wear off mighty quickly.

6 comments:

James A. Zachary Jr. said...

Hmmmmmm ... effective but ...

Maybe modify it with your airgun concepts; squirrel drops down tube, trips a switch, solenoid opens, high pressure air then spud-guns the squirrel into the next county ...

Billll said...

Great minds think alike. I plan to have a "squirrel party" with the pipe set up as the 4" barrel for the pedal gun. When the squirrel falls in, I pressurize the plenum from the air compressor, then launch the rodent pretty much straight up. The dogs will soon learn where to wait, muzzles uplifted, and jaws agape, awaiting the squirrels arrival.

AKA Angrywhiteman said...

I gotta tell ya Billll, if the wrong folks get wind of this post in particular, you're going to take some serious heat. Certain groups will endeavor to hand you your head on a platter.

Billll said...

Having PETA picket my house would be, for me, the equivalent of winning the Nobel Prize in Mechanics.

Calladus said...

Not sure where you are located. But here in California if you catch an Easter Fox Squirrel ("Sciurus niger") in this manner, you are not allowed to relocate it. Heck, it's unlawful to turn it loose again, being an invasive species.

You catch it, you dispose of it.

I suppose giving it to local foxes is okay. It's hard to "release" a dead squirrel.

Billll said...

I live in Littleton, CO, AKA Dullsville.

There's room here to engage in a really deep philosophical discourse regarding the meaning of the word "release". In the Buddhist sense, the squirrel is released to move up or down the karmic ladder when it dies. In Boulder they're trying to outlaw owning pets, so keeping a live one would be illegal, but "taking" a squirrel without a small game license might also run afoul of the law.

Given enough BBQ sauce, I suppose they could become edible, although my experience with urban squirrels suggests otherwise.