Election Shenanigans

As the magnitude of the defeat they took in the last elections slowly sinks in on the Donks, the mechanisms they usually use to pull out a narrow victory in a closely contested election shift into overdrive.

Normally if a candidate is losing by only a few votes, i.e. under 1%, a bag or two of undiscovered ballots can usually be found in the trunk of an abandoned car in a seedy neighborhood, surprisingly producing enough votes to put the endangered candidate in to office. Recently this has been extended to finding 2 whole machines which had somehow eluded the election commission in Queens, which added 80,000 votes to the totals.

Additio9nal sleuthing has turned up some 120,000 more ballots form unnamed locations which, while not affecting the outcome of any election, proved to be a big boost for the left-wing candidates.