HOV Lanes

There's an article here about the Suffolk County (Long Island N.Y) cops making the bust of the day, catching a driver using the HOV lane with a metabolically-impaired passenger. Worse even, the passenger wasn't even a dead human (it's been tried) but a rather lifelike mannequin.

I'm guessing that the perp had been getting away with this for a while, but let me offer some hints that might help here. First, signs of life include subtle little movements. So fix your "passenger" up with tinted glasses to cover the fixed stare.

Second, the cops get paid to observe and report, so help them out here by giving your friend a regular change of clothes. Maybe even a regular change of wig, too.

Third, don't use one of those inflatable dolls from the alternative book store. This will get you pulled over quickly so the nice policeman can find out who's two-timing his girlfriend.

Fourth, babies tend to look a lot alike, and don't have large wardrobes. Get a child carrier, and install one of those large, lifelike dolls in it. Use one that actually looks like a baby. Do not use one that looks like Barbie. Even an empty carrier can be covered with a blanket, which means you may only need the head, and the rest of the space can be used to hold ice, and bottled refreshment. Properly mounted, the head can even bobble and turn in a lifelike manner.

One more thing, once you arrive where you're going, put the carrier in your trunk, or at least remove the dolly and stash it where it either can't be seen, or is obviously a doll. You don't want to be explaining to an amused cop and irate social worker that the "baby" you abandoned in the carrier in your car is actually your car pool passenger. Place the doll next to the carrier when you park, and everybody will assume it belongs to the absent occupant of the carrier.