Monuments to Human Ingenuity

This fellow should have been employed by some big-name high-tech company. His suicide is the sort of thing songs are sung of, and legends arise from.

David Phyall, 50, tied the Black & Decker tool to a leg of a snooker table in his lounge with string, taped up the on button and plugged it into a timer, Winchester Coroner's Court heard.

Mr Phyall, who had consumed a small quantity of alcohol but no drugs, then lay down under the snooker table face up and placed the chainsaw against his neck.

A piece of the tool's cardboard box initially cushioned the blades from his neck.

The hearing heard the timer, which is usually used to turn lights on and off, was fixed to start up the chainsaw for 15 minutes.

Although I had heard of a couple of Russian lumberjacks who, after consuming significant quantities of Vodka, demonstrated to one another just how tough they were as the first bravo fired up his chainsaw and cut off his own foot. The second, not to be outdone, took up his own chainsaw, and cut off his own head.

No one has (pardon the pun) topped him to date that I've heard.