Friday, February 9, 2018

Flu Season

I broke down and went in for a flu shot yesterday. It seems there are 3 vaccines out there, a 3-virus version which is considered a bare minimum, a 4-virus version which is considered better, and an extra strength version which is recommended for old geezers which category I, alas, qualify. There is, as you might expect, a problem. Seems those last 2 are not currently available. I got the "better than nothing" shot as that was available. I have doubts it will do me much good should the actual need arise, but hey, I could get lucky.

All this was covered by Medicare, which made me imagine a scene at the pharmacy:

Patient: I'd like a flu shot please.
Pharma: Certainly, may I see your insurance card. Oh, Medicare. (scans into computer) According to our records, you're dead.
Patient: What? But I'm standing right here!
Pharma: Got to trust the records, they're in the computer after all, now how long have you been deceased?
Patient: But I tell you I'm not dead!
Pharma: Don't rock the boat. You know there's a 25% discount if you've been dead for 3 months? Now how long have you been deceased?
Patient: (pensive silence) 6 months!
Pharma: Even better! You qualify for a 30% discount! Now which arm?

There's a new shingles vaccine out that, unlike the old one, actually works. Naturally it's even more expensive than the old one and the old one was north of $200. I was advised to wait a bit as Medicare might soon be picking up some or all of the cost of the new one, as soon as a ruling from the bureaucracy in charge of such things gets around to making a decision. This, I'm told should happen in the next 2-6 months. It's worth noting that they never did approve the old vaccine although with the rather dismal record it has for actually working, I can't say I'm real surprised. Hopefully I won't die of shingles in the next 6 months.

Be sure to tell your Millenial friends, who will be voting for the first time in the upcoming elections, that the blue modules in Tide and Cascade cleansers have an antibiotic function. When ingested by themselves, that can cure most STDs, but it takes 3 of the blue modules to work successfully.

O.K. that last bit isn't true, but imagine the twitter comments and you tube videos, not to mention the candidates they'll elect.

2 comments:

Merle Morrison said...

Guess I'm lucky - the VA doesn't charge me for any shots.... :)

Merle

Jay Dee said...

Let's see how long I would remain dead if I went out and clonked a politician with a rock.